We all want to be happy and to find someone with whom we can share our lives, dreams and future with. Someone who is compatible with us and who will always stay by our side.
There are people who want this dream to become a reality so bad, they easily settle for someone who clearly is NOT in their highest good. They'll fight for their relationship to the bitter end, enduring physical and/or mental abuse, broken promises, constant fighting and possibly consistent abandonment. These are just a few examples of the havoc some live with while in a bad relationship. Yes, I said BAD relationship. If you're reading this and fall into even ONE of the above categories and are NOT happy, then it's time to start scrutinizing your situation, down to the very last detail.
Early Signs A Bad Relationship Is Brewing
It's so easy to get caught up in a situation with someone new and think, "Oh my God he/she is the one! They have everything I could ever want" then be knocked on your butt once his/her true colors come out. It's important to take your time and get to know the object of your affection thoroughly before cementing a commitment to them.
Those who jump in head first and commit to someone 100% after 2-4 weeks is more likely to be blindsided than the person who waits 3-6 months. Though I'm not judging every single relationship out there, I'm simply showcasing normal common sense. When it comes to matters of the heart, common sense is commonly known to fly out the window.
To prevent the the aftertaste of something awful, here are the major signs you're involved in cooking up some bad relationship brew:
They physically hurt you
Yeah. If your partner is having anger management problems get out ASAP! There's no reason why anyone should have to endure abuse of any kind, especially if you just started dating. Don't hang on. The only thing you're missing out on from this relationship is sporting the colors black and blue all the time.
Your mate tries to isolate you from the rest of the world...all the time.
When someone tries to keep you from your friends and family or shows a great deal of discomfort when you're spending time with or talking to others (even if only for a few minutes), DUMP THEM! This is a sign they don't have a life of their own and that unhealthy way of living will bleed into your lifestyle and will probably never change. Throwing fits all the time when you receive text messages counts too.
He or she puts you down verbally
Consistent comments such as, "You'll never get anyone better than me", "Why don't you change that outfit, it isn't flattering" or "We could live 'here' if you made more money" are all methods of control and abuse. This person obviously feels like an insecure loser and you don't need that crap! Say goodbye immediately!
They always have "problems" and he/she isn't happy...ever
So here you are thinking, "He/she is just stressed out. After this issue has passed, he/she will be back to normal" then problems keep popping up, one after the other and your partner can't seem to settle down. Guess what? They never will. Why? It's because they thrive on drama. Roll out!
You're compared to their ex in a bad way
Are "Ugh, my ex used to do or say that" comments coming your way often? That's probably because your love isn't over him or her yet. Not only that, but it's another way to change you. Get this: A lot of people like the same things and use the same expressions, which is why there are so many trends in this world. If your mate can't handle some minor similarities between you and their ex, you either need to set them straight or get out. You can't expect to be able to create a future with someone who lives in the past.
If you don't give them what they want all the time, watch out!
It's the controlling, raving lunatic! If your bf/gf doesn't seem to understand and use the word COMPROMISE by adulthood, most likely they don't intend to learn. Give and take is the name of the game in relationships. Both parties need to do this otherwise one or both is wasting their time and the relationship will end up in shambles. Do you seriously want to be an ass-wiper the rest of your life? Think about it.
You don't want the same things in life
This is very important to establish early on. If you want kids, but your partner doesn't, then you need to to decide whether or not your desire for a family is stronger than your desire for this particular mate. Deal breakers are very important and should be considered within the first month of dating someone. Do not try to convince him or her that your way will work for them and the same goes for you. Do not let someone else make you feel that your desires aren't worthy of having.
They constantly give false hope
Don't you just love all those broken promises? "I'll call you when I get home" and the call never comes and now you're the only one making contact. He/she schedules plans with you and there's always a reason why they fall through. If you're in a new relationship and already you're compiling a rather long list of broken promises, well, you know what to do right? SEE YA!
Your guy/gal lied to you about their relationship status
So you've been dating this wonderful person for about a month and then it comes out: They're not divorced like you thought or they've got a bf/gf. Oops! So now what do you do? Run like hell! Don't think for a second they'll be honest with you IF they leave him or her. If they can't tell you the truth up front, chances are they'll have no problem hiding other important facts about their life in the future.
They have a substance abuse problem
Sometimes this takes a while to appear, but if you're dating some who needs a case of beer, a bottle or two of wine and/or other narcotics every day just to exist, they've got a problem. You'll be saving yourself a world of hurt if you just let them go. Your new love won't fix them and they most certainly won't change just for you. Sorry.
Your partner shows a lot of insecurity about him or herself and the relationship
So you're dating the fabulously attractive person and within the first month they're questioning your intentions, expecting long-term commitments and pushing you to do things for them. Hmmm. Doesn't sound like this person can let loose and have a lot of fun, does it?
He or she wants you to move in too quickly
You gotta be careful of the people who want a live-in bf/gf within the first month or two of dating and/or reconciliation. Last time I checked, a couple can get to know one another, have fun and make plans for the future by living separately. Honestly, if your mate is pushing for that type of commitment so soon, you need to question their motives. Most likely they need your help (financially or in other ways) and starting a relationship out this way will only guarantee one thing: They're not the independent, self-sufficient, confident man/woman they portrayed them self to be and you'll be stuck with a life you didn't sign up for.
Protect Your Heart
The above examples are very important things to look for when you're starting a new relationship or are resurrecting an old one. I'm not asking you to be paranoid here, just aware of what's going on around you. If you're reading this and realizing that you've experienced one or more of those red flags, please take the time to connect with yourself and think about what your future with this person will really be like. Will you be able to live with with this person? The choice to be happy is yours and only you know what you are willing to put up with.
