Breaking the cycle of dwelling can be a long, tedious process which usually makes us uncomfortable with ourselves and the choices we‘ve made. Whether you’re in the midst of a messy break-up, starting a major life change or attempting to release irrelevant issues from the past, the letting go process will evoke some crazy-ass emotions, instantly transporting us from stability to being a walking contradiction.

In this article I will highlight following:

* Ways to know you’re doing things in a healthy manner
* The challenges you may experience
* The B’s and D’s

How Do I Know I’m Doing This Right?

I get that question ALL the time. Believe it or not, what you may think is negativity coming out of you “all of the sudden” is actually a sign that the process is working for you. Here is a list of ways to know you’re on the right track. The following usually occurs in stage 2, Dangling and Drifting. Keep in mind that these are symptoms of going through a transitional phase and that’s exactly what you’re putting yourself through while trying to let go of a major situation.

The Positive States
* You’re highly motivated in areas of your life that do not pertain to what you’re dwelling on.
* You notice that predictions about those other areas are happening right on time.
* You start becoming more spiritual with your perception of yourself, situations and other people.
* You’re exploring the lessons derived from the situation and practicing forgiveness.
* You’re more confident with making decisions without going outside of yourself for guidance.
* You uphold the new standards you’ve set in your situation, without feeling guilty.
* You’re naturally doing things that are healthy for your wellbeing.
* You strongly desire change in all areas of your life and are finding ways to make it happen.
* You’re grateful for everything you’ve been through

The next set describes the result of the changes in your perception and actions. I say “seemingly” because in the end, everything listed below contributes to the positive outcome you’re striving for. You will probably go through everything on these lists at least once.

The Seemingly Negative States
* You cry at random times and you can’t figure out why.
* You receive epiphanies, some that make you happy and some not so happy.
* You go from being okay with the situation to freaking out and being fearful.
* You feel as though something is going to happen and obsess for a while.
* You feel as though you may never receive what you want and you feel totally alone.
* You find yourself becoming impatient and wondering why it’s not happening “now”.
* You beat yourself up and dwell on only the negative choices you’ve made.

Click here to read more on stage 2. Click here to read Transitional Phases.

The Challenges of the Letting Go Process

The Ego
Every time we take a leap of faith and explore other avenues in our lives, there’s bound to be some pot holes. The result is bumping or bruising of the ego and being uncomfortable. To be quite honest, it sucks big time, however, the end result is amazing. Most people who attempt the letting go process have a very difficult time being consistently open, positive and emotionally stable. These are all natural responses to challenging the ego and setting a new standard it’s not used to. When we set a new standard after being in a state of mind for an extended period of time, the ego kicks in and rejects the new one at first. Don’t panic. Give your mind, body and spirit some time to adjust to change.

Consistency
Working on yourself is a rather large task with many steps to climb. It’s not enjoyable as you’re having to see yourself as you really are and learn to accept your situation as it really is. When one has allowed themselves to get sucked in to a situation they have no control over, they’ve given up their power and abandoned their personal truth.

If you’ve made the choice to go through the 3 stages in the Power of Letting Go, it’s very important to stick with the program and not give up when you reach the first set of pot holes. Those things are minor and about the size of a footprint, not the Grand Canyon. Consistency is an invisible miracle worker. Once you get used to the pot holes, you can anticipate their arrival and dance around them. I personally enjoy dancing so these days I choreograph my own number to keep myself motivated. It’s fun, you should try it!

Flip-Flopping Fear
Going back and forth between confidence and fear is very common for most people in life and when letting go. Honestly, if you didn’t hit this stage in the game, I’d wonder if you were human at all. When fear slaps you across the face, it’s OKAY to embrace it at that time. You need to acknowledge what you’re feeling, but you also need to quickly find a way to discard any thought you don’t have physical proof of.

Those scary emotions are there to show you that you’re not done with the process yet. It’s also a method for your subconscious to bring issues you may have been avoiding to the surface so that you may resolve them. Fear can also come through in the form of symbolic dreams. Again, acknowledge it, but do not interpret the dream as a prophetic view of your future.

The B’s and D’s
Here is a list of suggestions to help you maintain your stability while going through the letting go process:

Be willing to try anything and everything that’s healthy to get through this process.

Don’t make half-hearted attempts.
If you say you’re going to work on yourself today, follow through and don‘t put it off.

Be honest with yourself no matter what you may feel or want at the time.

Don’t beat yourself up.
It’s called a process for a reason. If you crack one day, glue yourself back together and try again.

Be open to making changes in your life.
There’s always room for improvement and you can‘t grow if everything stays the same.

Don’t be selfish.
Having pure intent is the only way you will get what you want out of life. Working the system will only give you instant gratification and nothing positive to show for it in the long run.

Be available to yourself.
That’s right, if you’re not capable of taking care of your personal needs, you’ll become useless to others. Make time for exercise, eating properly, pampering and relaxation.

Don’t allow yourself to be overwhelmed too often.
It’s one thing to overload your brain when you‘re busy with life, but it’s another to let it happen every single day.

Be able to find something different or neutral to focus on.
For example, if you’re dwelling on love, focus on your career.

Don’t get impatient if things aren’t happening in your timeframe.
As a matter of fact, erase the word time from your vocabulary.

Be open to receiving any method of help to get through this process.
Whether it’s self-empowerment books, therapy sessions with a professional, journaling or talking to someone you trust, make sure you do the work.

Don’t rely on psychics to make your decisions.
A major part in letting go is abandoning your need for instant gratification. Do not be afraid to take a risk or make a choice without the guidance of others.

MOST IMPORTANTLY…

Be willing to leave your home and have some fun.
Put yourself in a place of positive energy. Hang out with people who support you and make you laugh.

Don’t dwell on all the things you think you’ve done wrong during this process.
Focus on your positive choices as much as possible and try to stay tuned in to the bigger picture.